I am not an art thief plotting my next move
I am not a post rock bass player
I am not a merchant seaman ready to embark north
I am not a longshoreman getting ready to maneuver a crane
I am not a lumberjack afraid of the direction the tree may fall
I am not a jewel thief hiding in the basement until the shop closes and night falls
I am not a boxing coach
I am not a hipster mathematics professor
I am not a sculptor who builds little motorized things that race around going "wizzz wizzz" and that bump into each other and topple each other over
(I am not a pompous jackass - at least I don't think so - even though I kind of look like one in the picture, I think it's just being bad at selfies)
I am not a guy who makes weird sounding hybrid electric/ acoustic instruments - like two cantaloupe rinds with a thin tin cover that can be bonked in a resonant way
I am not a guy who was once a European dead lifter in a very low weight class
I am not a chef who opened the only Portuguese restaurant in Milwaukee, Wisconsin
