chocolate, klonopin & coffee

for years

i ate chocolate

took klonopin

drank coffee

and rage

rattled

within me

with the force

of the chicago el

arriving

in station

spitting sparks

like a diving

bird of fire

& on the train

i entered into

loud arguments

with strangers

who ambled the aisles

mumbling & glaring

cursing & accusing

& i was threatened

with murder

and all this because

i took klonopin

to slow the rising

dark thoughts

that had bloomed

like blood flowers

starting in ‘92

after my friend

drowned himself

himself in a tidal river

and the chocolate

and coffee

elevated a pulse

deadened by

the klonopin

everything

reacted coalesced

moving to

a smaller city

saved me from

an encounter

with death

that would not

have been

restless sleep

in a tidal river