Setting: A desolate patch of the Nevada desert, a short ways from a highway. However, the play can be performed in any open space – empty parking lot, alleyway, vacant theater stage, etc.
Characters:
Mr./Ms. A, aka Nathaniel: Middle aged man or woman. Can be portrayed by actor/actress of any gender and any adult age.
Mr./Ms. B, aka Samuel: Middle aged man or woman. Can be portrayed by actor/actress of any gender and any adult age. Actor ideally feels comfortable pronouncing a couple of lines in Brazilian Portuguese.
Mr./Ms. C, aka Felix: Middle aged man or woman. Can be portrayed by actor/actress of any gender and any adult age.
***
A: What are you doing here?
B: What am I doing where?
C: Doing here. In this land.
B: In this land. In this land.
A: That’s right. That’s what I’m asking you.
B: In this expanse of restaurants, gas stations, muffler shops and 7/11’s. Women’s prisons. (Pause). I’m passing through.
A: No, you’re not. You’re not “passing through.”
C: You’ll be staying here tonight, Samuel. (Pause).
A: Do you understand, Samuel? You’ll be staying here tonight. For at least tonight, I mean.
C: Perhaps longer.
A: Perhaps longer, Samuel.
B: (Pause). Perhaps longer. In this expanse of dropped coin sundowns and silver moon miles shooting west upon the asphalt. (Pause).
A: Uh-huh.
C: Uh-huh.
A: Uh-huh. Well, you need to get into the van now, Samuel.
B: (Imitating Mr. A) “Well, you need to get into the van now, Samuel.”
C: Yeah. That’s right. You need to get into the van now, Samuel.
B: “You need to get into the van now, Samuel.” Sounds like the title to a gospel song written by Marilyn Manson. (Pause)
C: Fuck you, Samuel.
A: Yeah. Fuck you, Samuel! Now get into the fucking van.
Mr. A lunges quickly at Samuel and Samuel dodges him. Mr. A misses and stumbles in the dust.
C: Samuel, when did you get here? To this town. When did you arrive?
B: Faz dois dias.
A: Faice what, you bitch? You dog. Speak English, Samuel.
B: Eu cheguei aqui faz dois dias. I got here two days ago. (Pause)
A: And you’re just passing through.
B: That’s right. I’m just passing through. And after this, I’ll just mosey on into another calendar sundown. I’ll project myself into the past - into the wagon wheel past. On through the Oregon Pass.
A: The Oregon Trail. Do you mean the Oregon Trail, Samuel? Have you ever heard of the Oregon Trail, Samuel? You freak.
C: You ne’er-do-well.
A: Have you ever walked the Oregon Trail into a sundown town, Samuel?
C: Do you think you’re a hobo, Samuel?
A: Or a drifter?
C: Are you some kind of a drifter wandering through the western states like a wagon wheel come off of its axel? (Pause).
B: I am a bobcat that’s left its den and now I’m in the Western plains, searching. I’ve lived centuries of sundowns looking for a way into the gray, distant dawn and now I’ve think I found it. (Short pause). I think you’ve given me my way. (Addressing Mr. A) How do you feel right now?
Mr. A mumbles pained noise.
B: That’s right. When you rushed me, I dropped a scorpion into your T-shirt.
A: What?
B: You’re dying, Nathaniel… (To Mr. C) Felix.
C: What?
B: Felix.
C: I said “what?” You hoo-doo son of a bitch.
B: The desert rises dark gold at night, Felix. It grows cold. And I’m going to walk west, backwards into the past, before any of this occurred.
C: So what?
B: So, I’m leaving you here today in the desert. You will not see me again.
C: Don’t say that. What if I said I love you?
B: You do not love me. You’ve forgotten how to love anything but pets. And I am not a pet. Goodbye Felix. I have the keys to the van and now I am leaving.
Samuel walks west disappearing stage right.
C: Come back, you hoo-doo motherfucker! Samuel! Samuel!
***
"Samuel in the Desert" is free for anybody to perform anytime, anywhere. It may be particularly easy to adapt to a Zoom performance. It is only required to let the author know about the performance.
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