A: What do you wanna be when you grow up?
B: Cat Burglar of Music Boxes, Captain of an Anti-whaling Ship, Consultant to Pataphysicians, Biographer of Harry Partch, Professor of the Accordion, Vinho Verde Taste Tester, Apprentice to Owls, Benny Goodman Scholar, Author of Children’s Books about John Brown, Inventor of a Time Machine.
A: And why that last one?
B: So I could travel back in time and thwart Christopher Columbus before he reached “the Americas.” I would set a trap for him to fuck up his life so he would never cross the ocean. Chris was a very bad man.
A: But that would mean you probably would not exist.
B: Oh. Right. Then I would do that one last.
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