JEFF AT WENDY'S

 

And Jeff was working at a Wendy's

Only he wasn't eating any of the food there

Because he'd been reading about caveman

How they consumed 3000 times

The USRDA recommendations

Of vitamins and minerals

And Jeff had to work overtime

That night at the drive-through

Beneath the werewolf moon

And the greasy air dripping

The sex of Coke and fries and backseat love

And Jeff would only eat radishes

And crustaceans and leafy green things

And his body became strong

Like a caveman who could battle

A woolly mammoth

And then go home

And have mammoth sex

With his mate

And Jeff got off at 11

And couldn't help noticing

That you can move quicker

With more animal drive

If you hunch over

And work your legs

Like a saloon fan

And Jeff did this

And ran with great velocity

Beneath the streetlights

Yelling out shrill hominid

Cries and grunts

And the sky

Looked like a mighty sea

From the Pleistocene Era

(From the one-person show, Sermon of the Mouth, 1992. Audio).